Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Ime goine ! Ime goine!


My brilliant deducshun later, first some happnins.


Wun day me and Skot went to the koffee shop up by heer.  They have a takeout window and he wanted to see how he cud manage it on his own.  The first thing he sees as he gets close is a ball.   That means a dog.  I could see him re-thinking the hole plan but he kept on.  He orders the koffee and I plant myself, back to the wall, like an old timey gunslinger.  There was a mongrel seated nearby, see, and the hole time we kept are beedy eyes on each other.  Wun false move and he’da been mincemeat.  Lukly he didn’t go for me and the mishun was a suksess.



Another time Skot took me into even more dangerus territory.  Lookie at the warning sines.
  



Wun had a spelling misteak but I fixt it.
Is not vandalism if it makes the world a better place.  Its civil dog obedience.

Skot has been giving me sammin sometimes, and it tastes gud.  That’s grate since I heer you have cot hundreds of fish.  Looking forward to tryeen them all.  heh heh  that’s forshadowing but, again, later

Another change for the better around heer, the poo bag dispenser.

Skot is taken sum time off tooterin at the moment but Ive been meaning to tell you about this one kid.  He is kind of a tuff guy, he dozen say much.  But wun day at the end he gets up, looks at me, remarks “Kool little dog.”, then leaves.  That’s me, softening the hart of evrywun I meet.

Wun nite in the kichen Als was hammerin the shite out of some ice. I leapt behind Kathee's chair to pertect her.

So, you guys mite think yor so-oo smart, but heers what Ive figgered out.
Mark’s getting mareed in 4 daze - all the cuzzins are invited !
This is me gardin the plants that Skot is growin for the Big Event.



Als is gathering my stuff by the door – KAR RIDE !!
Yesterday I had a bath – IME ALL CUTED UP !!!

YES !!!   Ime going to the wedding !!!  oh boy oh joy
What do you think my job will be ?!  securtee?  dishwasher?  ring barer?  they cud put it on my coller
Ime up for anything.

Did you get an invite?  
Maybe we’ll see you ther,

Sophie B-H
KLD


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Ime reddy for my Close-up


Today, a cupple of videos starring, no duh, me.

The first is a whore movie - yu no, the kind with scarey monsters.
It starts off with suspens, then are heroine being kwite brave, then a cliff-hanger ending.

[ Don’t wurry!  the Thing From The Basemint ends up retreating bak to its layer ]
on my YuTube  https://youtu.be/b-z87IX4imQ  

Next : acshun adventure!
Thers new people next door, they have a kat named Herb.  His best frend is the German Shepherd named Hector in his downstares sweet. He is aloud to go EVRYWEAR in my ‘hood!!  Skot has alreddy spoke to his keepers and warnd them I will (!) rip him to shreds if I get the chans, but he has been on the dek twice!!  Wuns, after I already gave him wat for!!  So, okay – fare game.

on my YuTube  http://youtu.be/cnI7g46LzXQ 

Paw-tographs only 5 dollers


Speeking of fare game, ther's this grate new thing here at Kamp. 
 The Red Bowl 
 

It is just for me!  Yu never no wat kind of delishus leftover treets cud go in there evry day.

It may or may not be part of that idiotik no mooch policy, wich by the way is pretty easy to get around, espeshially wen Als has frends over. Yu just have to wear them down, over time, like a drip of water on a stone.

 


 




 Hoo you callin a drip ??!!

Yu shur hav been gone for a wile – apparently it is December alreddy.  My leesh stopped going in and out again (wich is fine! ther is NO need for a short length atall) but Skot got me another wun. He INSISTS it is my Birthday and Kristmas prezzent.

As far as my foot, Als keeps messing around with it but yu can tell her to kwit any time.  It dozen bother me and if she’s going to put 1 sok on why dozen she put all 4, or at least 2? Wun looks redick.  Ime embare-assed to be seen.
 

See ya next year I gess,
 

Miss Sophie


Saturday, June 20, 2015

Wurst Kar Ride EVER !!!



Ther’s lots to tell you about : The Red Bowl , vizters, vakume defence, how I got dubbed a “KLD” and how I went on a koffee run

BUT

F* [forget] all that !!

Als ia a dirty rottin lier and this is wot happened.

She’s bustling all around, putting things by the door and in her pockits, the grage door goes up and she whistles me all smiles and cheery “Sophie! Kar ride!”
Holey hot dogs, at last!  These guys never take me anysher or make use of my soopearier navigashun skills.  

I leep twards her, she collers me up, we trot to the kar, wat the … ?!  Befor you no it I’m in the krate in the bak seat.  Shirley you put on my construction sheet about how this is sposed to be done?!

We go about 50 miles into uncharted territory, pull up at a pretty nice place, I water the plants and grass.  I must say everybody inside was reel nice, complimenting me on my calmness, asking all kinds of questions about me [Als had to fill out a sheet, they were so curius about my grateness].  They even wayed me, amzed at my muscularity I gess.  Thers other dogs there yankin on ther leeshes and a kat in a cage [wear it belongs], I’m sitting pretty takin it all in.  


We go into a room and wate 6 or 8 hours for a guy to come in.  My hi alertness is alerted, although he’s also very nice patting me, checkin me over – even my teeth [which he said have some calculus – no duh, duzzen he no I help Skot with Math?].

The next part is kind of uncomfortable, you might want to skip it.  Als did send you an emale with all the deets.

He takes a speshal interest in my paw, witch come to think of it Ive been pussy-footing around on the last day or so [they call it pussy-footing when yor foot is becoming useless and smelly, like a yu-no-wat].  

THEN wen that wench Als isn’t looking he steels me into the bak chamber, pokes me a couple times with something sharp and mucks all about on my foot ending up wrapping up with about 7 miles of tape and stuff.  Will you just LOOK at the ginormous size of it ?!

Then him and Als talk for a wile – for wuns her attenshun span was longer than a zombie's.  Then lots of patting from all my new fans, and a walk outside in the sun.  Wat was I sayin at the beginning?  Oh ya, all-in-all-a nice day.

Here’s me heading bak to the kar, you can see Ime compleetly hobbled.


If yu cant see the video on yor device, of kors its on my personal YuTube channel as well :    https://youtu.be/aHb6sgEBZEQ
   

To make up for the foney kar ride I gess, Als went out after and got me a present. 3 sets of sox.


Wun thing Skott has been workin on lately is no mooching at the table or from anywun.  My treats are doled out on schedule, into my bowl, including even peenut butter toast and after-dinner-leftovers.  So these pix were from erlier daze wen I had a hart full of hope.
  


Hurry bak, will ya !? that regimen is for the burds


Love, Bigfoot Hopalong 





Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Seen and Bean Seen


 Ive bean endearing myself to all kinds of fokes lately and as usual.
Granny was over for supper wun day.
 

Also Jakkie.  She is taken accounting and ast Skot to help her but he lookt at the work and sed he cuddent do it and suggested Cuzzin Larry or Donna for tooters.  I dint heer anywun ask me ??!!

Wile she was heer she was inflicted the mandatory garden tour. I helpt.





Wherez Winsome?


That Jakob kid?   Finished his Math and has askt Skot to help him with his High Skool Inglish coarse!  Hopeflee they will study Charlz Dikkens who sed “God bless us, evry wun” coz I say “God help us, evry wun.”
 

Herez me living on the edge.  Therez sumthing about this Ime sposed to remember  
 ...   whatevs

Heerz MY cuzzin, that  I can relate to.

Speeking of ungreatful wretches, 
Heerz me stuk on the pre-walk / pre-bath platform.  


but Pretty kute, right ?!















See you at the end of sum month or other,




Sophie  xxoo  

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Yule NEVER gess …


  … whose at the end of this leesh !
















Yu can only wate …












and wate … so long before yu reelize Skot is bizzy and yu haf to make alternative arrangemnints.


whodathunkit ?!


Been a novice, Als needs some help in the planning department tho.

First off, we walk walk walk – with no poop no poop no poop
Ime waiting for the perfect spot to squat
aha!  once I find it, upstream of this beayootiful pristine water supply

Als scoops me up befor I can drop the package !!! – and befor the crowd goes wild


THEN
well, she brot 3 bags but wen I went deep into the wods for a crap she leaves it ther
who can figger it?

we went a LONG way!  I wil send Kit the lynx

Okay, bak to Camp Fircrest
they got me a speshal pet cover for my perch
but – haha! – I fooled then and hav been cot snuggling into the blankie under that table on the left
now it is bak under the cover

Skot and Als had frends over on Friday – they sed I was very calm.


Okay KIT!   Skip this part : for Billz ize only
[PS hey big buddy just wanted you to no cheezies ar still turning up all over the house.
Gret plan! about putting them in my green ball.
As we always say its easier to ask forgiveness than permishun]

 Als likes this pitcher because it looks like I’m in jale
What the ??!!

Okay, so I herd you wer having cold whether and snuggling was in order.
Well, you guys go into town wuns a week or so, rite?  And I’m in town, rite?
Say no more. 

See you


The Sophinator  xxoo